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Student POV
HIgh Stakes

by Ben Pfingston '21


Student POV High Stakes


As the youngest of four siblings and the first of them to graduate from college, I have always had to push myself to achieve my goals. Since my first semester at the ², my dream has been to be accepted into a Psychology PhD program. Because of this, my entire college experience has been high-stakes. It was pertinent for me not only to attend and graduate from university, but be highly accomplished while doing it.

Looking back, the pressure to do well in schoolisn’t new. I’ve always been the scholarly blacksheep in my family. In elementary school, whilemy siblings largely occupied themselves withvideo games and sports, I spent much of mytime reading piles of books. Moving to middleand high school, my three older siblings tookprimarily general education classes. I, on theother hand, found myself in all honors classesand a member of my school’s academic team. Assuch, my scholarly persona is how I distinguishedmyself from other members of my family, and Ihave felt obligated to keep up this image.

When it came to college, however, there wasanother added pressure. I’m a first-generationcollege student, meaning neither of my parentshave four-year college degrees. Because myparents had children young, they weren’t able toattend college in their youth. My dad eventuallyreceived a two-year technical degree, but mymother was never able to graduate from a postsecondaryprogram. While she entered collegefor nursing when I was in middle school, shewithdrew because of her worsening disability.Seeing my mom get sicker, unable to achieve herdream of being a nurse, saddened me. I’m nearlyinseparable from my mother—some would callme a “momma’s boy”—so I wanted nothing morefor her than her accomplishing everything she'ddesired. Witnessing my mother surrender herown dream motivated me to make my parentsproud and fulfill my own goals of attendingcollege and, eventually, graduate school.

Even with my high motivation and academicaptitude, college has not come without its fairshare of struggles. Because my parents don'thave college degrees, neither of them were fullyprepared to assist me in the process of navigatingcollege. Learning how to talk to professors, askfor help and find resources, and properly interactwith my classmates was a battle that I initially lostmore often than I won, and had to struggle withon my own.

At times, this was frustrating; I wished more thananything that my parents could fully understandhow hard I was working. Additionally, thepressure to do well, compounded with myparents’ struggles to help me, elevated my stress.However, with time, I sought out faculty and staffat the University who were able to relate and assistmore. With their support, college was much lessdaunting than it could’ve been.

Despite all of the pressure and struggles associatedwith my family and first generation status, I amthrilled to say I accomplished all of my goals. Igraduated summa cum laude and as a UniversityHonors Scholar, and I have been accepted into theUniversity of Oregon’s Psychology PhD program,which I began this fall. Although I know the pathahead will contain just as much pressure andstruggle as my undergraduate career, I am excitedto move forward, knowing I am making myparents, siblings and community proud.

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